The Maintenance Monkey

November 7th, 2005 by

Received from a friend…he is a retired CPO,,,,

A man walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a First Class Petty Officer from the local Navy base walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll take a maintenance monkey, please.”

The man nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the PO1, saying, “That’ll be $5,000.” The PO1 paid and left with the monkey.

Surprised, the man went to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that’s a maintenance monkey. He can run diagnostics on all radars/weapons systems, score 95 on the ASVAB test, operate all forms of test equipment, perform the duties of any Maintenance Man qualified person with no back talk or complaints. It’s well worth the money.

The man spotted a monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?”

“Oh, that one is a Workcenter Supervisor monkey! It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance on the unit, intermediate, and depot level, knows all OPNAV instructions, utilizes ORM, and even conducts Divisional Training. A very useful monkey indeed,” replied the shopkeeper.

The man looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, “$50,000.” The shocked tourist exclaimed, “That one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world does it do?”

“Well, I’ve never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his pecker, but his papers say he’s a Chief!”

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