In Search of the Grand Unified Theory – Part I

October 1st, 2006 by xformed

I love physics. Years ago, I figured what wasn’t physics was chaos…but then that actually has an order of its own, when you peel back enough layers.

Phyisicts have been looking for the one common formula for years, that will explain everything. Here is a book on the topic, in case you’re interested in finding out more on the issue.

Now, just like the people who slave away in physics, in the molds of Newton and Hawkings, we have a corelary in the political world, and I would suggest, the cultural aspects of society as well. I will call it the Grand Unified Blame Theory (“GUBT” in subsequent references). Just as the physicists want that one single formula, from which all other formulas are derived, so they can understand the weak forces, strong forces, light waves, gravity, etc, etc, etc, in the political world, there are those who seek to find the one individual that, one “uncovered” will explain all the ills of the world, society, and the planet. From Global Warming, to the wearing of burkas, they seek, with seemingly endless energy, the person who is the root cause of all that is evil, all that is bad, and all that has brought strife, pain and misfortune to “the masses.”

The research, biased and unbiased (mostly very biased) goes on, yet there seems to be no end in sight….not only are there legions of scientific personnel involved, but extnesive numbers of those in the “press” have joined in, thinking they can help answer the greatest question of not only our time, but of all time.

At the moment, the magnifying glass is on President George W. Bush. Within the last two weeks, we have found out he is not a facsimile of, but in fact, the Devil himself. If that were the case, then he would be the one, single cause of all the pain and misfortune of all humanity, before now and in the future, but they are grasping at straws. Just as the physicists struggle, so will the sociologists, professional and amateur, to come to grips with the answer to the GUBT, whereupon they may cast in stone the truth, stripping away the descriptor of “theory.”

I have a suggestion to help you determine the one person of great human angst. You need to test your theory by taking out of play that person who your research suggests is the single person worthy of your blame. Isolate them from their duties and all society, and then see what happens. See if the greenhouse gases instantly disappear (ok, well, abate at some quite noticeably accelerated rate), if all killing stops, alternative energy scientific breakthroughs occur and dead dinosaur fuels are obsolete (oh, yeah, that should make the “victims of oppression” in the Middle East want to pass out daisies and turn in their suicide belts), if the poor and downtrodden are suddenly provided with wealth unimagined, that snail darters thrive and spotted owls no longer have to nest in K-Mart lighted signs. It shall also mean the end of earthquakes, Cat 5 hurricanes (or tropical storms that cause the evacuation of Florida), volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, forest fires, and tornadoes. Cancer will no longer appear in any life forms, obesity will disappear, stem cell research, will cure everything from “owies” to Alzheimer’s, with no pain, using a single, small, easy to swallow pill, dispensed from every street cornet free of charge. Taxes will no longer be taken by the Government, and roads will no longer develop potholes. Snow will fall everywhere in your yard, except on the sidewalks and driveways, and will not cover any roads, be they one lane dirt tracks, or 10 lane Interstate.

BUT… only if the isolated person is “the ONE” being that is the proximate cause of all that is bad in the World.

Amazingly. last week, former President Bill Clinton thought someone was naming him as “The ONE,” and reacted accordingly. I think his staff hadn’t gotten the word to him that the final series of experiments hadn’t conclude on George Bush. Maybe he should spend more time smoking cigars and playing poker with President Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Kofi Annan, to make sure he gets the straight story, which should keep his blood pressure down and keep him from having another heart attack.

On the other hand, if only interactions between people get better, then I submit you have merely found a small factor of the forumal, and you must spread your research to encompass the entire universe, known and unknown, for the final answer…..

Anyhow, my poor attempt at humor is to cause you to get a grip. Just as soon as you think you have found “The ONE,” there will be someone else taking their place, so why not just do what that sage philosopher, Rodney King pondered: “Why can’t we all just get along?”

More to say later on the cultural ills of the world, and how to get rid of those who cause them.

Oh, and note to President Clinton: I’m sure Hillary would be happy to know, after she was hurt, that you “tired harder” than anyone else to make sure it didn’t happen. Only the results count. Intentions, good as they may be, pave the road to hell.

Trackbacked to:

The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, The Amboy Times,

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 1st, 2006 at 2:39 pm and is filed under Humor, Political. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

1 response about “In Search of the Grand Unified Theory – Part I”

  1. In Search of the Grand Unified Theory – Part II - Chaotic Synaptic Activity - It's not random, it's CHAOS! said:

    […] to catch up: Part I of the […]

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